They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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