what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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