You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Randomize
