Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
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In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
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I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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