hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I met the friendliest cop last night
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
