dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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