i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
