the new term for farting is butt boxing.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
