i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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