Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
