Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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