we're blogging at a bar
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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