Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize
