It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
33 Sex Crazed People That Are Going Balls Deep
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
21 Family Members Confess The Creepiest Things They Know About a Relative
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy