the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
try lime green
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.