So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.