I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
the liver wants what the liver wants
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
