I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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