there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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