They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
