do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
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