It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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