His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
