i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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