i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize