whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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