A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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