She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
