Where is the hickey?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize