Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Randomize
