We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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