She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I need to sanitize my soul.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
