I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
