party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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