What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm like, not good at living.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
