I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
"it" just moved
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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