did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
