check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
