Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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