just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
