Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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