Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
