margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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