im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
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I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
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How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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