I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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