who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
