Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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