seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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