it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
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