and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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