he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
