you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I forget how to act sober
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