I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
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I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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