Non-Jews are for practice
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
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