I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
