Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
