Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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