I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
