I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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