I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
