Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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