The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Rumble strips road head = magical
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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