He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
