Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Never joke about your clitoris.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
