DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
