Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
