hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize