Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
