I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
